Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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