No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
