So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
