Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
