I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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