after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
