physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Randomize
