Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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