she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
