my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
