Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize