Small penises have feelings too.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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