seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Randomize