I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
