we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Randomize
