Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Help. Why am I so naked?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
