Barsexuality is the new black.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
can u get pink eye on your cock?
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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