Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Randomize
