Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
