the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
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