Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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