My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
her facebook's as public as her vagina
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
