Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
