I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
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