Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
