U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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