I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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