id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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