i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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