Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
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