she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
