Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
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