the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
