can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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