sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Randomize
