Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
