She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
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