You can't motorboat a personality
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Randomize
