also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
My pussy is not your playground.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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