im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
