I don't think brook has ever known best
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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