Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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