Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Green mimosas i think yes
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
