her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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