im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
are you so shy because you have an std?
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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