i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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