she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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