Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
as a side note pls kill me
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize
