i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
