i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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