My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize