think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Enjoy the penises
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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