Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Randomize
