Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
