i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
