why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
