Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
