where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
My feet surprised me
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