I only kidnapped one of them. chill
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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