It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
