You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
