party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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