I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
