Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
