I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Randomize
