Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I just found puke in my bra..
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
we're so committed to being not committed
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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