PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
