Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
The air was thick with penises
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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