Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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